ELLAINE Cameron, 54, manages Relate Gloucester and Swindon, the relationship counselling charity. She is married to Alistair and has three children

NONE of the thousand or so cases seen by Relate in Swindon are alike, but if there’s a common factor it’s a lack of communication.

Breaking down that barrier, Ellaine Cameron insists, is vital.

“Keep talking and keep listening,” she said.

“I believe that Relate could solve all of society’s problems. If relationships work in whatever form, whether it’s within a family, in a workplace, in Parliament, if you can talk to each other and you solve the issues that are coming up by talking, then really anything can be solved.

“Good healthy relationships are the absolute foundation of society.”

Issues which bring couples to Relate’s door range from infidelity to strife involving extended family, and from the delicate business of blending step-families to disagreements over task-sharing.

There are married couples, cohabiting couples, couples who don’t live together, straight couples and same-sex couples – and sometimes not just couples.

“Now we see families. A lot are not so much families with young children as people my sort of age and parents who’ve had problems all along," said Ellaine.

“Some of our centres even help with workplace relationships, because it all comes down to communication.

“The counselling needs commitment from the client. It needs them to be engaged and not to sit in a room with a counsellor and have that counsellor tell them what to do.

“The counsellor might make suggestion such as setting aside five minutes every day to talk to each other. But when it comes down to it, it’s the couple, whether it’s a married couple, a cohabiting couple or not.

“The counsellors have heard everything. What people come to us with is never going to go beyond the door. Everything is kept confidential.”

In some instances, couples who have decided to split seek advice on doing so amicably for the sake of children.

Another service currently offered by Relate Gloucestershire and Swindon, helped by a Comic Relief grant, is free counselling for people recovering after being exposed to abusive environments.

Ellaine is especially keen to make young people aware of this service.

There is a scale of charges for relationship help, with discounts available depending on people’s circumstances. An assessment appointment is usually followed by a few further ones. Relate favours short-term, focused work.

Ellaine is originally from Paisley in the west of Scotland. Her parents worked in the town’s cotton industry, and Ellaine attended Paisley Grammar School.

“I hated school. I left as soon as I could when I was 16. I got a job with TSB bank, which is how I met my husband," she said.

“I worked in the bank until my eldest son was about to be born, and then I spent a few years running toddler groups and playgroups.”

Ellaine and her husband, a budgerigar-breeder in his spare time, also edited a magazine for keepers of the birds, which allowed Ellaine to stay at home most of the time to look after the children.

“I didn’t actually go out to work until we came down here.

“I spent a year working in car insurance, which I hated because it was sales and I’m not a salesperson," she said.

“Then I was looking for something different. I have to be honest – I was drawn to Relate because it was advertised as a term-time job and my children were all very young.

“That was nearly 17 years ago and I’ve been there ever since.

“As soon as I joined, it didn’t really feel like a job. At one stage, very early, just a few months into it – we didn’t run Swindon then, just Gloucestershire – there were some financial problems.

“My hours were cut to eight hours a week, and at that point I thought, ‘Well, I would rather stay here as a volunteer than have to go out and find another job,’ because I just loved it so much.

“It felt like something really worthwhile. I wasn’t standing behind a bank till, trying to sell insurance and mortgages and goodness knows what else to the customers that came in.

"This was people with real problems – some of the most fundamental problems that you can have.

“There was the satisfaction of just being able to help in the process.”

Relate’s history goes back more than 70 years to a clergyman called Herbert Gray, who founded what came to be known as the Marriage Guidance Council to help parishioners. The name change to Relate came in 1988, and reflects the fact that the organisation helps all couples. Each branch is an independent charity.

Ellaine is as happy in her work as she’s ever been.

“I still love it. It can be frustrating at times because it’s difficult to get funding for it and it’s difficult to find counsellors, but the staff that we have working for us both administratively and as counsellors, are just a fantastic bunch of people," she said.

“I love them all dearly. I’ve worked with them for years and years and years and we’re really good friends. It’s a great place to work.”

“You spend an awful lot of time at work and you’re lucky if you enjoy it. because there are still a lot of people who go out because they’ve got to keep the roof over their head. I’m not trying to say I don’t need to work – my salary is important – but none of us in Relate are there because we get paid fantastic sums.

“It’s because we actually think it’s worthwhile, what we’re doing.”

Further information about Relate can be found at www.relateglos.co.uk.