It's been a fantastic fortnight of events. I will certainly miss it, and am looking forward to the "2009 Festival" with anticipation.

Three cheers for brave Swindon who have taken the festival of literature to its heart and made it a regional success story... and a wet raspberry to the resident detractors who complain, moan and whinge in an annoying and persistent manner about our great town.

Ring ring. Ring ring.

'Hey man - you've reached the Maughfling Palace of Rock 'n' Roll - how can I help you brother or sister?'

'Rollo man - its me.'

'Hey Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiichard - hows it hanging?'

'Nevermind all that Rollo man - you still ok for this afternoon?'

'This afternoon? Why whats happening man, heavy bread?'

'You promised you would come and help me get my Bubble Organ out of the spare room. The wife wants rid of it man, heavy bread, and as I promised not to play it again I have to get it out of the house.'

'Far out man. Yeh no problem - see you about half past the hour of two my brother.'

'Cosmic.'



'Ok - we've taken the window out now man and our rudimentary pulley and winch device looks to be all good. I'll stay down here and position it and you control the winch from upstairs. Just make sure your antlers don’t get caught in the rope man.'

'No probs my musical friend. I'll go up now.'



'Ready Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiichard?'

'Yeh man - lets go for it.'

'Far out'

'Cosmic'



'Nearly there Rollo, nearly there.'

'Far out man - this is easy'

'Whoooooaaaaah there Rollo - slow it down man, slow it down - I wont be able to hold it on my own man - I need another pair of hands brother.'

'Heavy bread - well I cant let go of the pulley otherwise we lose the Bubble Organ and we cant do that man.'

'Heavy bread Rollo - what are we going to do? The wife is out as well man, heavy bread.'

(Slosh slosh slosh, seep, seep, reek reek)

'Hallelujah brother!!! Here comes Old Man Drake!! Hey over here man - come and give us a hand!'

''Ello Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiichard.'

'Hey Old Man Drake - what happened to your foot man?'

'Oh I dropped a concrete slab on it this morning - Im landscaping my garden. Yesterday I fell down an abandoned well.'

'Heavy bread. Anyway man - can you give me a hand with my Bubble Organ. I cant position it myself and Rollo cant let go of the rope.'

'I see. Well I would Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiichard, but as I am the unluckiest man in the village, this looks like a situation I should well avoid.'

'Oh come on man - what can happen - all you have to do is position it on the ground - there is only a couple of foot to go.'

'Oh well, I suppose so yes. Go on then.'

'Nice one, Old Man Drake. Cosmic. Come on then Rollo - lower the winch.'

'No probs dude.'



'There you see man - nothing bad happened did it? Far out. You wanna join me and Rollo for a celebratory pint down the White Horse?'

'Yeh I will thanks. Im amazed nothing happened then - maybe my luck is changing.'

'Yeh man - its probably the mystic vibes given off by my wizards hat man.'

'Yes maybe it is. Come on then.'

'Old Man Drake steps out into the road]

'Ok cool - let's go……..Hey!! Watch out for Farmer Freeth!!!!!!!'

'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggg
ggggggggggggghhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hh!!!! Where did that tractor come from'

'Heavy bread man. Rollo, its just going to be the two of us down the White Horse.'

'No way - whys that dude?'

'Old Man Drake is underneath Farmer Freeth's tractor.'

'Heavy bread'

Hey Grimaldi my man, you looking for a gig at next years Lit. Fest.

If you want you can have a stall in the Pig Shed at Home Farm Rocks to be held in August, where at man, where at!

Hey Doug! Far out and outta sight man - Me and PS can come along to the Home Farm Rocks! We'll bring our Electric Bass Kalimba and Excedrin Thumb Piano dude! Far out!!! Hows the Deca Pipe?

Couldn't play it man as the postman was chased by my geese and he broke it getting it through the letter box, bum trip man. Can you make me another? Hey i see you hade some hassel from a Geordie dude yesterday, that was bad vibes man, bad vibes, that cat was just not cool!

Heavy bread about the Deca man - I'll knock up another one out of an old apple tray I've got - should be far out! Yeh that geordie dude just doesnt get down with the vibe man - we all know that love and music makes the world go round Doug - he needs to get a hold of the peace pipe!

Could be man, couldn't you get psaltrey to send him a wizards hat, that'll fog his Tyne and put him in the groove. I used to put my poss tot through Selmar Amps rather then Marshall, with a bit of wah-wah fuzz the sound really was far out.

Hey heavy Dudes, I ahve some lyrics man, thee should do for the festival - far out!

(Groan moan screech howl extreme noise terror)

Hit me with your Aquaggaswack
Hit me hit me
Hit me slowly hit me quick
Hit me hit me hit me
Hit me with your Aquaggaswack
Two fat ladies click click click
Hit me hit me hit me

(Groan moan screech howl extreme noise terror)

Hey psaltrey, will this be an accoustic set man, or electric. I need to know this man as if your doing electric I'll have to put some amps in the pig shed. Hey can you work with the pigs man or need I move them? Happiness Stan is going to compere the fest, far out.

Far out man! The pigs will be cool left there man - we can use them as backing tracks! Far out!! We got a summer gig PS, a summer gig at Home Farm!!! Trippy man!!

Hey man - far out. Plug one of the pigs into the stack man and remove it's eyes, it'll sound like Pye's Fiddle-dee-doo, cosmic!

How come Tony Hillier (AKA Community Poet) hasn't started spouting his prose this morning?

I think he lost his title at the Festival.

I think he lost more than that man, his poems never rhymed. I know a poem doesn't have to rhyme, but none of his did. i tried to get him for the Home Farm Rocks concert, but the sheep objected.

theyellowcanoe wrote:
How come Tony Hillier (AKA Community Poet) hasn't started spouting his prose this morning?

What prose is that then?

This is a poem man

Fingles Fingles make me proud
Fingles Fingles play em loud
When I play them the neighbours come round
To burn my cottage into the ground

How does it feel?
To be on your own..
Like a Bikelophone.

Hey cool lyrics Grimaldi far out, did you see Sir Wigster of Peace there man with his far out Tupperware sandwich box, sensible shoes and anorak man - he's a square man!

..and I am the Afghan (wooo)
I am the Windform (wooo), and you are the @rse flute! (Koo koo ka choo)

Sure did PS - I noticed his weave looked a bit threadbare man - he needs a new one. And a new pair of sensible shoes. Far out and outta sight PS

Yeah man and he was reading extract from "Far from the Madding Theremin"