Strange lights in the sky above Malmesbury (From This Is Wiltshire)

It could have been Apache helicopters. They have been flying about late at night again.

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it was ,indeed, " two large, hazy fireflies "!!

Last night at about 7.10pm I got bored and went into the shed to give the old time machine another run out around the town. Having first entered the station yard in search of big bore exausts and failing to find any I decided to pop over to Hullavington in cyber phase mode with stealth partially set to stage one. As I approached the Apaches I realised my sisters old push bike had hung up on the coal doors of my time machine. This blew it as I was quickly spotted as a flying bicycle with out rider. The Apaches were onto me straight away so I tried hiding in the clouds. It didn't work as in the panic I knocked off the stage one stealth and now being completely visible to their night vision goggle they lit me up with their spots so as their ground controllers could lock on visually. Of course I had ultimate superiority with the time shift boosters engaged and left them chasing their own tails. This is probably when Jane noticed the lights as to confuse every one I put my super candle on auto random. Then warped on gamma 4 back to Malmesbury. Well spotted Jane but nothing out of the ordinary. Just wait until I let Wiggles loose in it next week then there will be some fun in the Darkest Depths of Strange Wiltshire. Be afraid very afraid.

Munden wrote:
Last night at about 7.10pm I got bored and went into the shed to give the old time machine another run out around the town. Having first entered the station yard in search of big bore exausts and failing to find any I decided to pop over to Hullavington in cyber phase mode with stealth partially set to stage one. As I approached the Apaches I realised my sisters old push bike had hung up on the coal doors of my time machine. This blew it as I was quickly spotted as a flying bicycle with out rider. The Apaches were onto me straight away so I tried hiding in the clouds. It didn't work as in the panic I knocked off the stage one stealth and now being completely visible to their night vision goggle they lit me up with their spots so as their ground controllers could lock on visually. Of course I had ultimate superiority with the time shift boosters engaged and left them chasing their own tails. This is probably when Jane noticed the lights as to confuse every one I put my super candle on auto random. Then warped on gamma 4 back to Malmesbury. Well spotted Jane but nothing out of the ordinary. Just wait until I let Wiggles loose in it next week then there will be some fun in the Darkest Depths of Strange Wiltshire. Be afraid very afraid.

An excellent story, Munden. I would, however, include the name of Robbie Williams somewhere in your jottings and then there would be the most high possibility that the Gazette & Herald would print your story as fact on the front page.

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Last night Robbie and I were chatting up the girls in Malmesbury. We had started at the Borough Arms but were soon thrown out so just stepped next door into the Guild Hall. Again we were thrown out this time for staring at other peoples birds. We then made our way over to the Monkey Temple where Malmesbury's finest female specimens sit on stone seats, a custom that allegedly keeps your rear end on the smaller side. There just happened to be two lovely young ladies there when we arrived and I jumped right in with my street chat up line and asked them, "show us your back sides then." I did this out of range of a left hook but to my surprise they both obliged and said smack that then. I looked at Robbie who was still wearing his ski mask and he nodded. So we went for it. Just at that moment there was a huge flash of light and 4 policemen leapt out of the shadows and nabbed us. The two girls turned out to be under cover cops. At the station when Robbie took off his ski mask the rozzers burst out laughing. Any way we were later released without charge and had to walk all the way back from Melksham as they refused to return us in their Lada Louts, something about being made monkeys of by Wiggles Big Bore Gang. So we headed straight for the station yard and in no time were squashed up in the back seat of two Citroen Saxo's. Mind you mine was quite tasty looking compared to Robbie's, he seems to have picked the one no one else in Malmesbury wanted. Then the fun began but I'll leave that for another night.

Hold the front page!! We've now got a sensationalist story that will sell like hot cakes!

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