FOR years the Christmas season of joy and light was a time of darkness for Julie Welsh.

The 44-year-old, who suffers from depression, used to associate the festive season with feelings of isolation. But this year she looks forward to a family Christmas.

The formerly confident dental nurse first suffered from depression 10 years ago after going through a divorce but managed to return to work with the help of pills from her doctor.

But five years later a combination of work and home ownership pressures meant she was suffering again.

“I used to be very independent,” she said. “But the depression brought on feelings of isolation and loneliness. I was tearful all the time and fraught.

“I couldn’t work, or even cook for myself.”

This time pills failed to help but a year of cognitive behavioural therapy made a difference.

“It has enabled me to get to the stage I am at now,” Julie said.

“CBT is a technique of understanding how your thoughts trigger reactions.

“When you are in a depression, all you see are negatives. You feel the whole world is against you.

“It is about changing your thought patterns to become more positive.”

Part of Julie’s recovery involves gardening at Leaves, which provides training and work for people with mental health issues. Julie has been involved in the project for four years and now provides support to other workers.

The former salsa dancer – who is still on anti-depressants – now concentrates on finding joy in the natural world through walking her dogs Scampy and Misty.

She said: “There is something about being outside and enjoying the trees and flowers. I look at the sky today and want to be out there gardening.”

She also does a weekly art class and her ambition is to help others with mental health issues.

Although she still has difficult days, most are good.

She said: “On a bad day I wake up and it is almost like being weighed down in the bed. You have no desire to do anything. A good day is looking forward to going to work.

“I have so many more good days than bad days.”

Julie is now looking forward to Christmas being another good day with her family.

“When I was mentally ill I dreaded Christmas,” she said.

“I felt I had to join in and be sociable – it was the last thing I wanted.

“Now that I am feeling better I’m looking forward to Christmas.”